


Broken

by medusa20



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Betrayal, F/M, Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2012-06-29
Packaged: 2017-11-08 19:53:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/446887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/medusa20/pseuds/medusa20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Penny is the glue that holds the three of them together</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sheldon

**Author's Note:**

> Trippy41 made a fantastic fanmix for this fic and its sequel.
> 
> I, of course, have no idea how to link the fic to the mix but I am sure Trippy will do it soon enough

_**The girl can't help it, she needs more.** _

_**He hasn't found what he's lookin' for.** _

_**He can't help it and she's just that way.** _

_**Journey** _

Sheldon wakes with a gasp. He rolls his eyes to the clock. 6AM. He sits up in bed and inhales the thick air. 6AM and, already, the humidity is near oppressive. The light blanket on the bed is twisted around his legs. He runs his fingers along the back of his neck and frowns at the dampness there.

His eyes roam around his childhood room. Darth Vader poster. Einstein poster. His first foray into quantum mechanics scribbled in black Sharpie on the wall behind the door. The Millennium Falcon on a shelf and books, books, books. It really isn't much different from his room in Pasadena.

Except, he doesn't have a room in Pasadena anymore.

He doesn't have anything in Pasadena anymore.

The door to his room flies open. Before, he can react, he is tackled and toppled over.

"Shelly!" A delighted cry pierces his ears.

"Missy. Get. Off. Me." Sheldon bites out each word. His twin sits astride him, a grin plastered on her face.

"I don't think so." She arches a brow and her hands curl.

"Missy, don't. I am warning…"

His words are cut off as the merciless tickling begins, punctuated by questions.

"Why didn't you tell me you were comin'?"

Sheldon shrieks in indignation.

"Why are you here?" Her accent as thick as the air he's trying to breathe. It hurts his ears.

Sheldon bellows, "Git offa me!"

"Oh, I always knew you was Texas at heart, Shelly!" Missy digs her fingers into his ribs. God, he is as thin as a rail and she's can't lose 10 pounds. It's not fair.

"Tell me what happened and I'll stop." Missy bargains while continuing to tickle relentlessly. Sheldon wheezes and gaps. His hands reach down and grip her wrists. Hard.

"Enough! That's enough!" He glares into a pair of matching blues.

Missy sits on the bed; Sheldon scoots toward the headboard just out of her reach. He tugs down his t-shirt and clears his throat.

"My coming here was an unforeseen event. A whim, if you will." He tells his twin.

"Shelly, you've never done anything on a whim in your life. I'm surprised you even know the word."

"I could say the same about you. How did you even know I was here?"

"Momma." Missy picks at the chipped navy blue polish on her index finger. "She called after you went to bed last night, fussin' and cluckin, about you showing up on the doorstep."

"Oh.' Sheldon crosses his arms. "If I am an imposition, I can stay in a hotel."

"No, you can't." Missy counters.

"I most certainly can." Sheldon huffs.

"Shelly, there isn't a hotel in the county that would be able to meet your standards or stand you as an overnight guest."

"Okay, point." Sheldon grumbles. "But, if Mom doesn't want me here…"

"She's just concerned. You show up, luggage in hand, come in, then say goodnight without so much as a 'howdeedo'." Missy pulls her dark waves into a ponytail.

"Howdeedo?" Sheldon repeats. "I have never nor will I ever say that."

"You just did." Missy retorts. Sheldon glares at her again then impatiently waves a hand in her direction.

"Would you leave so I can get up and get dressed?"

"C'mon , Shelly. You ain't got nothing' I haven't seen before. We used to take baths together."

"I am aware. I also recall you splashed and hollered so much, it was like being in the seal tank at Sea World. Several times, I nearly drowned."

Missy sticks her tongue out at him but her face softens.

"Sheldon, what happened?"

Sheldon looks at her. She is as beautiful as he is brilliant. It almost hurts to look at her. He'll never admit it (least of all to Missy) but the nice thing about being a twin, about being a twin with Missy is that instinctive bond. Sheldon would dismiss it as hokum if pressed but he's seen it too many times. Missy saved him from bullies (including their father). She always seemed to know when he was experiencing social difficulties in Pasadena and, well, she was here now. He doesn't have to work at it with Missy. It was only this easy with one other person…but Sheldon doesn't want to think about that at this moment.

Missy's eyes are too bright and Sheldon, who couldn't interpret a human emotion unless it held up a sarcasm sign, realizes he doesn't have to answer her.

"You already know." He whispers.

Missy nods, "I got the text last night." She reaches out a hand to him. He slides his over. Her hand has a softer appearance. The veins are less pronounced, the fingers are a little finer but, other than that, it is identical to his. The tips of their middle fingers touch.

"What are you gonna do, Shelly?"

"Missy, your pronunciation is appalling. You speak like a thirteen year old girl."

Missy chews on her lower lip and prays silently that Meemaw grants her patience.

"I asked you a question, Sheldon not for you to criticize my talkin'."

"The word is _critique_ , not _criticize_ and it's _speaking_ not _talking_.":

"Fine!" Missy gets off the bed. "I'll go tell Momma you found Jesus and you've returned home to preach the Good News."

"No!" Sheldon leaps out of bed and throws himself against the door, clad in his t-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms. He is so horrified by his sister's threat, he forgets to put on his bathrobe.

"Answer the question." Sheldon straightens up, " Very well. I shall spend my days teaching evolution to Creationists."

Missy gives him a baleful look, "Not for work, you jackass. I meant, What. Are. You . Going. To. Do."

Sheldon's shoulders slump, "What can I do? The moving finger hath writ. The die has been cast. Hannibal has crossed the Alps."

"What in Hell are you blathering about?" Missy yells.

"Melissa Cooper!" Mary's voice carries from the kitchen. "You are not so old that I can't take a bar of soap to that mouth."

"Sorry, Momma." Missy rolls her eyes then refocuses on her brother. "If this were a physics problem, would you give up?"

"Of course not". Sheldon wraps his robe around himself. " If this were a physics problem, I would already know the answer. This is life. Infinitely more confusing."

Missy puts a hand on his shoulder, "There, there."

"I appreciate the sympathy." Sheldon remains with his back to her.

"If it's any consolation," Missy tells him. "The text came with a picture. It's the ugliest thing I have ever seen."

"Mine is perfect." Sheldon mutters.

"Meemaw's?"

"Meemaw's" Sheldon's voice catches.

"Sheldon, maybe there is still time. You should know that it wasn't the first text I received. There were six before it, asking if I had heard from you, if I knew where you were." Missy steps closer. "If you were all right. You could fly back to Pasadena, tell…"

Sheldon shakes off her hand. His own have balled into fists as he wrestles his emotions under control. He never had to do that before. There are so many things he never had to do. Before.

"She's going to marry him, Missy." In the window in front of him, the thunderclouds gather, black and foreboding in the distance.

"I know, Shelly."

Sheldon wonders if the storm will break the heat.


	2. Leonard

No one would ever associate Beverly Hofstadter with colloquialisms but her favorite one was "Denial is not a river in Egypt" which she most often applied to her youngest son, Leonard.

Leonard is gripping Penny's right hand as he waits for his mother to pick up.

"Hello, Mother? It's Leonard. (Pause) Yes I suppose caller ID does render the caller identifying himself moot." He rolls his eyes at Penny who gives him a tight smile.

"Mother, I'm going to put this call on speaker." Leonard presses a button and places the phone on the coffee table. "Mother, are you there?"

"Where else would I be, Leonard?" Beverly's clipped tones fill the room.

"Ah...Mother, Penny is here and she and I have some news."

"Hello, Dr. Hofstadter." Penny greets.

"Hello, Penny. How is your father?"

Leonard watches the confusion cross Penny's face. "Fine." She answers slowly.

"Mother, Penny and I have an announcement. We're getting married!" Leonard crows.

There is silence for a moment, "You'll have to be more specific. To whom?"

"Each other." Her son wails.

"Fascinating." Beverly replies. Leonard smiles weakly at Penny. Not that he expected much but if his own mother finds their announcement to be an object of wonder, this is not boding well. Penny's stiff presence at his side is not helping to ease the tension in his shoulders.

"I see you determined her father's brand of cologne after all." Beverly finally says.

 _What the hell does that mean?_ Penny mouths but Leonard waves her off.

"No, Mother. We are getting married because we love each other." He takes Penny's hand again. It is cold. "Deeply."

There is silence once more.

"Very well." Beverly sighs. "My congratulations to you both. I can only imagine Sheldon's reaction to your announcement."

"Sheldon?" Penny finally decides to speak. "We haven't told him yet."

"No, of course you didn't." Beverly replies. Leonard frowns.

"Mother, I don't see what Sheldon has to do with any of this."

"I'm not surprised that you wouldn't consider the roommate you've had for seven years and who is fairly dependent on you while also having a pathological fear of major life changes when you decided to implement one of your own, Leonard. However, I must say that I am shocked that Penny gave no regard to his feelings."

Penny opens her mouth but Leonard cuts her off, "Feelings? This is Sheldon we're talking about , Mother. He had his removed along with his tonsils when he was twelve. I am certain he will be happy for us."

"Yes, Leonard, you keep telling yourself that. I believe I've had all the excitement I can handle for one day. Goodbye, Leonard."

"Good bye, Mother." Leonard can feel a sulk coming on though he is struggling against it.

"Oh, Penny," Beverly's voice is on the line once more.

"Yes." Penny stops picking at the cuticle she attacked once Sheldon's name had been mentioned.

"Don't let my son make you responsible for your own orgasm."

XXXX

_Interlude_

_When Penny and Leonard do break the news to Sheldon after speaking to Beverly, it goes like this:_

_They entered 4A with Leonard towing Penny behind him. Leonard called to Sheldon who had been asleep. Sheldon came out, rubbing one eye and grumbling about the disruption to his REM cycle. He barely entered the living room before Leonard shouted that he and Penny are getting married. Sheldon only looked at Penny. His eyes bore into her and she felt her lower lip quiver. Penny swallowed before looking away. Her blush was deep and traveled to her hairline. Sheldon turned to his roommate._

" _Do you ever think of other people, Leonard? Do you?" Sheldon spun on his heel and stalked down the hall._

_In the morning, Leonard discovered Sheldon was gone._

XXXXX

It has been two days and Leonard still can't get Penny to set a date. They sitting her apartment- Leonard on one side of the couch, Penny on the other. There is a calendar on Leonard's lap; Penny is constantly checking her phone.

"How about during the winter semester break?" Leonard suggests.

"That's great, Sweetie." Penny is scrolling through her messages.

"Or, we could wait 'til summer and go to the Mojave and die of heatstroke."

"That would work." Penny replies absently.

"Penny!"

Leonard pulls back when he notices that her face is an exact mirror of Sheldon's usual expression of annoyance.

"You aren't even listening to me." Leonard snaps. Penny places her phone down but her eyes keep skipping back to the dark screen.

"Leonard, I just feel like you're pressuring me again. We just got engaged and now you want to start on wedding plans and setting the date…"

"That's usually how it's done." Leonard says dryly, wondering where all the excitement he felt two days ago had gone. He had always wanted to take this step with Penny and he knew, deep down, she would come around sooner or later. They had discussed it vaguely when they were dating- marriage, children, where they would live. Leonard was agreeable to all her wants since he only wanted her and would do anything to make her happy. Penny had certainly seemed happy when he presented her with the ring. Her eyes had filled with tears and she threw her arms around him, hugging him close. She could only nod her acceptance she was so overcome with emotion.

"I know, I know" Penny was saying. "but it's just happening a little too fast and now Sheldon is missing.."

"Sheldon is not missing." Leonard assures her.

"You've heard from him?" For the first time today, the sparkle is back in Penny's eyes.

"No." Leonard admits. That Sunday morning, he actually thought Sheldon was over Penny's when he didn't find him in the apartment. Her reaction then had been very out of character. She opened the door and, when Leonard asked if Sheldon was there, Penny sailed right into him.

"Why…why would Sheldon be here? In the morning. With me?" She had cried and grew pale.

"It's Sunday," Leonard reminded her, a line of worry forming between his brows. "You two always get doughnuts and the newspaper for us. Why else would he be here?"

"No, no reason. Doughnuts. You're right." Penny had hurriedly assured him but she wouldn't meet his eyes

Penny picks up her phone once more as if willing it to ring.

"He's probably in Texas." Leonard is pulling at his sweatshirt cuff.

"He's not." Penny interrupts. "I sent Missy, like, half a dozen text messages and she didn't reply. When I spoke to his mother…"

"Wait. You called his mother?" Disbelief flows through him. Leonard hadn't even done that and he and Sheldon shared living space.

"Well, yeah." Penny answers as if Leonard is the dumbest person in the world (he's not. His IQ is 173- not as high as Sheldon's but certainly nothing to sneeze at) "God, Leonard, don't you even care about him? He's obviously upset and you're worried about booking a function hall."

The unfairness of it all hits Leonard. This is supposed to be his moment. His time when everyone focuses on him and, as usual, Sheldon has managed to make it about him to the point where Leonard's own fiancée can't even give their wedding the attention it deserves. "I'm going for a walk!" He barks at her and slams out the door.

XXXX

Penny. Sheldon. Penny. Sheldon. PennySheldon. PennySheldon. Leonard's feet beat out the rhythm of their names as he walked.

PennySheldon.

The two extremes Leonard ricochets between.

PennyandSheldon.

The sensuality and the science.

PennyPennyPenny.

Everything he always wanted.

SheldonSheldonSheldon.

Everything he always wanted to be.

The last thought stops him. Why would he want that? Why would he want to be emotionally crippled, hobbled by neuroses and ritualism? Because, in many ways, Sheldon was the better man. The Homo Novus. Sheldon's world was black and white. Science was top priority. Friendship was to be treasured and defended, a close second. Leonard began walking again and arguing with himself since in Sheldon's world there is no room for love.

PennyPennyPenny.

His feet tap out her name. Why does he want her? She's funny. Beautiful. Caring. Penny knows the world in ways Leonard can't conceive and he likes the idea of balance. Leonard saw her, wanted her, got her. His steps grow more confident and he smiles. Got her right out from under Sheldon's nose! Didn't he?

He passes the comic book store and keeps on walking. The rhythm resumes. PennyandSheldon. PennyandSheldon. PennyandSheldon.

PennyandSheldon get doughnuts on Sundays.

Step. Step. Step.

PennyandSheldon do laundry on Saturdays.

Step. Step. Step.

PennyandSheldon are HALO partners on Wednesdays

PennyandSheldon have adjacent "spots".

PennyandSheldon have rituals (knocking anyone?), eye conversations, violent arguments, Soft Kitty, adhesive ducks, unlimited access to each other's rooms.

Leonard's steps are slowing.

PennyandSheldon.

It occurs to him that no one ever says Penny and Leonard. Not even him.

XXXX

"Shell-EEE! Breakfast."

Sheldon walks into the kitchen. "Good morning, Mom." and tries to pass her.

"Not so fast." Mary taps her cheek. Sheldon sighs and places a peck there. Mary smiles.

"What would you like for breakfast, baby."

"A lightly toasted English muffin spread with one teaspoon of butter on each half, topped with a half teaspoon of strawberry preserves." Sheldon pours them each a glass or orange juice.

"Here you go." Mary hands him a plate of scrambled eggs, three strips of bacon and four triangles of burnt toast. _Why must she always burn the toast?_ He meets his mother's eyes and she is just waiting for him to comment.

"Thank you." He mutters.

"You're welcome." Mary serves up her own plate and joins Sheldon at the table. She watches as her son take sin precise mouthfuls and chews methodically while never lifting his eyes from his plate.

"Shelly," She begins. He looks up at her. There is an old sadness in his eyes. A sadness brought on by not being included or accepted. It was there until Sheldon taught himself not to care and Sheldon teaching himself something is always a dangerous thing. Poor Snowball.

"Shelly, what's your plan?"

"You'll have to be more specific." he pushes the blackened toast aside.

"Well, " Mary dabs her lips with her napkin. "Are you home for good? What about work? What about your friends- Leonard, Pen…"

"I can telecommute. I was working this morning." Sheldon informs her; Mary eats another forkful of eggs.

"I suppose Missy told you everything." Sheldon huffs.

"No. Missy keeps her own counsel." Mary swallows. " You two can be thick as thieves when you want to. She just told me that if anyone from Pasadena called, I was to say you weren't here."

Sheldon's mouth twitches in a smile. Missy did come in handy, sparing him the lie and farming it out to their mother.

"Which is exactly what I told Penny when she called."

Sheldon is pulled from his musings by those words.

"Penny called!" He shrieks.

"Now, Shelly, there 's no need to raise your voice. Did you want to speak to her?"

"No."

"Do you need to speak to her?" His mother's eyes are soft. She is almost touching his hand.

"I believe that opportunity has ceased to knock." Sheldon retorts. "Penny is now engaged to Leonard."

Mary almost chokes on her charred toast. That's not possible! Her prayer group is very devoted and highly effective!

"Are you sure, Lambchop?"

"Of course I'm sure." Sheldon barks and when his mother's eyes narrow, he amends his tone. "Ma'am. Leonard woke me to deliver the news. Since my getting back to sleep that night was futile, I came here."

Mary's heart aches for her son. It has been aching for all the years of his life. He was as scrawny colicky infant and not much had changed since then. Then Leonard became his roommate and Sheldon learned how to interact with others. To consider another's needs at times. Mary was overjoyed at that small change. She was ecstatic when Penny came into her son's narrow world and had the same effect as throwing open drapes and windows on a sunny spring day after a long hard winter. Hardly a conversation with Sheldon passed without him commenting on "Penny this." or "Penny that." Being his mother, she could hear the change in tone whenever he mentioned his neighbor's name.

"I'm sorry, Shelly."

"Whatever for? You didn't disturb my sleep." Sheldon tugs at his green and grey striped sleeves. He gathers his plate and carries it to the sink. Mary watches him rinse the plate (three times) to place in the dishwasher. His shoulders are beginning to stoop again. There was no eye contact at breakfast. Sheldon has been holed up in his room since he arrived. He's cut off communication with his friends.

No. Absolutely not. Never again.

Sheldon is staring out the kitchen window. Mary can't see his face though she is certain his struggling o keep his sadness at bay. Her mother's instinct is to protect and shelter him but she also knows that is the worst thing she can do.

"Sheldon."

He turns to look at her over his shoulder.

"You have to leave."

He whirls around. "You're kicking me out? Mother, I don't think you understand the enormity of what has happened to me."

"I do understand. Perfectly. Better than you probably do."

"Where do you propose I go?" Sheldon crosses his arms over his batman logo. Mary looks him straight in the eye. George's eyes and the Good Lord knew what a determined sonofagun George could be.

"Got get her." Mary says simply.


	3. Penny

If anyone asks Penny will admit it is all her fault. But no one does. Oh, they imply, insinuate, flat out accuse but ask directly? Of course not. She's Penny, after all. Blond, beautiful, dumb as a rock Penny. No one ever expects the prom queen to give a damn about the king.

XXXX

Missy finally answers her phone after five days and only because Penny tells her manager she has to use his office phone since her cell phone died and her grandmother had a stroke this morning.

"Hello?" Missy drawls.

"Don't hang up. It's Penny."

"Hang up? You're jest lucky I can't reach through the phone and give you the ass kickin' you so readily deserve." Penny blinks at the receiver; she didn't expect that.

"Missy, why haven't you answered my calls or texts?"

"Don't you have a weddin' to plan?" There is actual acid oozing through the phone.

"No." Penny rests her forehead on her hand. "I mean, yes. It's complicated."

"Well, Leonard's a smart guy. I'm sure he can help you sort it out. Tell him that you need to time travel so you can keep fuckin' two guys at once."

Penny blanches. Her stomach heaves. It sounds awful because it is awful. It feels awful because it's true.

"He told you." Penny's voice is barely above whisper.

" 'Course not!," Missy hoots. "Shelly's too much of gentleman for trash talk. I had my suspicions which you just confirmed."

"What?"

"Shelly's not the only genius in the family." Missy snorts.

"Missy, please. I need to know if Sheldon is in Texas. If he is coming home. If…if he's okay."

Missy rolls her tongue across her teeth. Her fingers tap against her glass of Dr. Pepper. She's got a good mind to fly to Pasadena and pull Penny's hair out by its black roots for messing with her brother like this. He may not snap back from this one.

"Missy, is Sheldon okay?"

"Don't see how that's any concern of yours. Forgive me," Missy's voice is so much like her brother's that tears spring in Penny's eyes. "won't your fiancée find it odd you pinin' for another man?"

Penny bangs her head on the desk. Twins, indeed!

"You're not going to help me , are you?" Penny finally says.

"Now, that wouldn't be very Christian of me, would it?" Missy is pure sugar on the other end of the line. Penny feels a glimmer of hope.

"No. It wouldn't."

"Well, Momma has already assured me that I am headed straight for hell so this won't change a thing."

The next sound is a dial tone.

XXXX

It starts with doughnuts. Everything else had already been established- their spots, HALO, laundry were such routine occurrences that no one even blinked at them anymore. Leonard knew date night on Saturday either started at 9:30 or ended by 8PM. It was either one or the other. He didn't mind; he was happy they could finally get along.

Penny wakes up one Sunday and all she can think about is doughnuts. When she was little, every Sunday morning there were doughnuts and the newspaper. She misses home. California is not "the golden state" she thought it would be. She gets out of bed, throws on sweats and her Cornhusker t-shirt to go across the hall to get Leonard. Just as she is about to enter 4A, she remembers Leonard is doing night experiments again and is sleeping during the day. There is shuffling on the other side of the door. Sheldon, of course. Penny walks in just as he is about to place a spoonful of Shredded Wheat in his mouth.

"Let's go." She orders.

Sheldon stops with the spoon half way to his mouth. "Oh, Good morning, Penny. I almost didn't hear you knock" His eyes linger on the word "Cornhusker" blazing across her chest. "Sarcasm." He informs her needlessly.

"C'mon, Sheldon, let's have a Sunday morning adventure." She puts on an announcer's voice. "I'm here to save you from a healthy breakfast." Sheldon sighs dramatically.

"Penny, as you can see, my breakfast is prepared and I am not dressed." Sheldon indicates his robe. Penny doesn't care. Nothing is preventing her from doughnuts this morning especially not Dr Fussbudget.

"You have on a t-shirt and pajama bottoms. Throw on you windbreaker and Let's. Go."

"Throw on my windbreaker? Go out in pajama bottoms? Are you listening to yourself?"

Penny rolls her eyes. This is not getting her anywhere and Sheldon's carping is sure to wake Leonard and she does not want that. Not only does she want doughnuts but now it's all about getting Sheldon to come with her in his current state of undress. It's always about the challenge so she unleashes another weapon in her arsenal.

Like any good Southerner, Sheldon has an inherent weakness for butter and sugar, though he exercise an iron will over those tendencies. Penny sashays over to him and leans in to whisper in his ear. Even this early in the morning, Sheldon smells amazing. The funk of sleep and morning breath don't dare cling to him.

"Doughnuts." Her lips brush over the outer rim of his ear. Sheldon gives a violent jerk but turns to look at her. Dental floss wouldn't pass between them.

"I'll get my coat."

Penny's worried by the time they get to the doughnut shop, all the good ones will be gone. They walk in and are instantly drowning in the yeasty-sugar smell only her craving can emit.

"What should we get?" Penny scans the racks.

"A dozen should suffice. If Wolowitz and Koothrapali show that will allot two doughnuts per person with two left over incase of accidental drop page or dislike. If it ends up being just the three of us, then the distribution will be just as equitable with each of us having access to four doughnuts a piece."

Penny's nostrils flare. "I could have done without the math problem, Sheldon.

"Make sure you get chocolate raised. No jimmies- they make me feel like I am eating ants." Sheldon warns.

"Right. Leonard's the only bugivore in your apartment."

Sheldon tosses her a "Bazinga!" as he goes to get the newspaper.

Penny gathers up the huge pastry box when Sheldon calls over her head, "Two honey dipped in a bag."

"What are you doing?" She asks.

"Goodness, Penny," His accent rolls out. "Everybody knows ya always get two fer the road."

They lean against her car, finishing off the honey dipped doughnuts. The sun warms them. Penny notices that Sheldon has glints of deep red in his short hair. There are a few moles along his neck and the muscles ripple as he licks the glaze off each pianist finger.

"You're staring." He breaks her thoughts.

"I so rarely see your human side." Penny teases.

"Not true. You see it most of all."

Penny is suddenly warm all over even though the sun is only coating her feet. She steps in front of the physicist.

"Thanks for coming with me." She tilts her face. Sheldon gives her a smirk which is when Penny notices there is a flake of sugar glaze in the corner of his mouth. The doughnuts are in the car. Leonard is probably up by now. Sheldon's eyes are blue jean in this light. She licks the pad of her index finger and touches it to the sugar. Sheldon's hand shoot sup and grips her wrist so hard the bones rub. Penny squeaks but they stand there for minutes, hours, days., talking silently as only they can. When Sheldon releases her, Penny makes sure he sees her put her index finger in her mouth. Sheldon makes sure she sees his smile.

Sunday becomes Doughnut Day on the ICAL download.

XXXX

The sex the first time is mind-blowing. Not because Sheldon is some covert sex god. Hardly. He enters her too fast, asks too many questions and Penny has to guide him every step of the way. It's also not because of the illicit thrill of balling your sweet, devoted, _nice_ boyfriend's best friend and roommate while he's filling in for a cello player at a department mixer. Nor is it because you and the roommate are supposed to be watching Star Wars in your apartment and you somehow (still haven't figured out how) ended up in the bedroom and the whole "yeah, we need to have sex." conversation apparently was implied in your asking if he was thirsty and his reply of "yes."

It's mind -blowing because once Sheldon relaxes enough to let instinct take over, he never stops looking at her. His eyes sear her to him. They only close for a second, right before he climaxes. Penny feels like he's pouring his whole soul into her in that instant.

It's also the first time they kiss. Their mouths are hot and open. Penny's teeth scrape along his lower lip and Sheldon grunts. She rolls them over, needing her own release even though he's still inside her.

"Pen.." Sheldon stops as her lips land on his throat. The skin is pulled between her teeth; Sheldon's hands grab behind her knees and yank her hips into his. "Oh, dear Lord." She moves her mouth to his again. Her tongue sliding in easily, so easily. Leonard always fights her with this. Never lets her take the lead. Sheldon's left hand is woven into her hair, holding her mouth to him. Penny takes his other hand and stretches out his index and middle finger before placing them in the center of her.

"In and out." She whispers against his lips. Those fingers. Penny closes her eyes and pictures Sheldon's hand- delicate wrist flexing, tendons appearing and disappearing just like when he folds his shirts on Laundry Night. On his own, Sheldon slips in one more, curling all of them forward.

"Gawd Amighty, Penny." His accent escapes him. Her muscles clench around his hand. She whimpers as she feels the tension building, building. Her hips rock furiously. Sheldon pulls her head, which has been buried in his shoulder, up by her hair. Her eyes open and fuse again with his. Laser blue touches her more than his hands, arouse her more than the friction of him. They are deep pools and Penny knows she is going to drown.

XXXX

Somehow they manage to keep their dynamic the same. No one is any wiser though Penny feels like she has a permanent bruise across her lower back from being pressed against the washing machines and she knows there is a love bite on the mid section of Sheldon's ribcage(left side) that just doesn't seem to heal. Every Saturday, while Leonard waits upstairs, Penny and Sheldon make out like teenagers in the laundry room. He grinds against her. She clings to him desperately- she needs more. More Sheldon. He is oh-so-ready to give it to her as his hot breath tickles her ear and his fingers grip her denim-covered hip.

When they come back to 4A, Sheldon goes to his room to put away his clothes. Penny curls into her spot with Leonard on her left. If he notices her lips are red or her hair not quite the way it was before, he says nothing. Penny enjoys the tranquility of Leonard after the maelstrom of Sheldon. Leonard can let Penny be her own entity. Like oxygen bonding with itself. Sheldon is sodium; Penny thinks of what Sheldon once told her about it.

"We can mix salt with food or water with little consequence. Yet sodium is a metal that is violently reactive with water. If sodium comes into contact with water, the hydrogen gas that is released will actually burst into flames."

She had no idea she was water.

_Interlude_

_There is only one other time before the ring. Leonard left to pick up dinner. Chinese No sooner does the door close behind him, when Sheldon has Penny up against it._

_Their hands are frantic. Penny opens his pants just enough to free him. Sheldon reaches between her legs roughly. Her shorts and panties are pulled aside. He slams into her._

" _Want you."_

 _"Need you. All of you_."

_The door rattles._

" _Penny, this feels..my anterior cingulate…"_

_"Sheldon. More."_

_Penny's hands slip under his shirts. Nails rake down. Dots of blood beneath the pads of her fingers. A hiss as Sheldon draws his breath in between his teeth._

" _You have to…mmm…end it … Leonard." The words are torn from his throat_ _._

_Penny nods. She can't keep doing this. His hands pull down on her shoulders. Sheldon is in her blood. As close as they are in this moment, it is still not enough. It is pain . It is unbelievable pleasure. It is still not enough._

" _Tonight…" She can barely form the words as he hits deep inside her._

 _The door bangs_.

_**Bangs.** _

_**Bangs** _ _**.** _

_Penny works his earlobe for every groan she can._

" _Penny. Penny. Penny." Sheldon's thrusts increase_ _._

_The door cracks behind her._

" _Fuck!"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Sheldon."_

_"Penny."_

_His fingers grip her hips and the bruises last for days._

"C'mon Sheldon."

_Their eyes lock. Sheldon bites his lower lip until Penny leans in to do it for him._

_He groans long and deep inside her. His mouth covers every sound from the first screaming orgasm she has ever had._

_The door falls silent._

_Penny remains draped around him, back against the door. Sheldon sucks gently on the skin at the curve of her shoulder. Her heart pounds a matching rhythm to his. His lips press along up to her jaw. He takes her face in his hands._

_"Tell him." It is not a request, plea or demand. It was an order growled before Sheldon kisses her senseless again._

_"I will."_

_XXXX_

Sheldon flies into the Cheesecake Factory and drags Penny away from the table she was serving.

"You haven't told him." He rages.

"Sheldon, please. The customers." Penny is trying to keep her voice calm.

Sheldon's eye is twitching. His fingers curl and uncurl.

"He told me he loved me last night. Again. Was I supposed to break up with him. Again? I mean, that's like lightning striking twice." She waits for Sheldon to go on a tear about the properties of lightning, its rate of appearance in Pasadena and the various statistics proving or disproving whether it does ,indeed, strike twice. Sheldon inhales deeply then gives a bitter laugh.

"Fool." he says to no one in particular.

"Who?" Penny asks.

"Take your pick." He exits the restaurant.


	4. The Menage

Penny's hand is sore. Unaccustomed to the weight of the ring, she must have banged her left hand a hundred times today. Even now, it hangs off the bed, pulling toward the floor. Penny's center of gravity is skewed by the diamond on her left hand; her bed sinks on the right under Leonard's weight. His feet are rubbing rhythmically against each other- a sure sign he is deeply asleep.

Penny pulls her robe over her wife-beater. She glances over her shoulder but her movements haven't disturbed Leonard. A marching band and an air raid wouldn't disturb Leonard. She heads to the kitchen to make some warm milk, a time tested remedy for sleeplessness. She closes her refrigerator door. Where did that come from? She doesn't even like milk on general principle.

She looks down at the ring Leonard so proudly gave her. His voice had trembled but his hand was steady when he got down on one knee. Leonard (God bless his poor vision) took her widening eyes as a sign of delight. Her silence as acceptance. Her tears as joy. In truth- she hates the ring. It is hideous. Emerald cut flanked by two triangular cut emeralds ("Just like your eyes, Penny.) Further proof that he has no idea who she is at all. Somehow, they are getting married so when he returned from cooling off, he found that she had made appointments to see three function halls tomorrow.

Penny sighs and turns from the refrigerator. Whenever the boys have a problem, they whip out the whiteboards.. Penny takes her emergency key and walks to 4A. Sheldon's spot has an unused air about it and Penny's heart breaks a little more at the sight of it. She goes over to a board, recalling from high school a T-chart. On one side, she begins listing for Leonard.

_Steady_

_Good job_

_Genius_

_Caring_

_Emotionally healthy (more or less)_

_Parents like him_

_Good teeth_

Penny considers her list. She doesn't have to adapt to Leonard or for Leonard. He is a good man. Then why does she always have to list the reasons to be with him? Why is never one of them love?

Penny turns to the other side of the board. She raises her hand to write again. She can't form the letters. Her knees weaken just thinking his name. She played him dirty. Penny dismissed that spark between them as friendship. Dismissed everything they did together or said or talked about as nothing more when Sheldon was so much more to her.

Her forehead rests against the board. She always pushed him- pushed him to have birthday parties, buy Christmas presents, keep secrets, drive. To kiss. To have sex (God , she misses him inside her). To feel. Penny pushed so hard that Sheldon grabbed her so she fell right along with him.

XXXX

The flight is called. Boarding begins. Sheldon places the comic book in his bag and heads to the gate. He increases his pace as a second announcement sounds through the airport.

"Damen und Getlemen, der Flug 357 nach München wohnt zurzeit. Alle Passagiere müssen ihren Weg zum Tor 99 machen.

Danke."

XXXX

Leonard's back is cold. He reaches for his glasses on the night table. Penny? He wraps his robe around himself and goes into her living room. Empty. Leonard opens the door. Penny has been known to sit in the hallway on the steps. Change of scenery, she calls it. The hall is empty but he does see a light coming out from under his door. He goes back to the bedroom and digs his key out of his pants. When he enters his apartment, there is a whiteboard covered in Penny's writing. He squints at the list then smiles.

His smile fades a bit when he realizes she is not in sight. It disappears completely when he notices Sheldon's striped pillow is gone. Dread is starting to puddle again. It swallows up the relief that had been in his mind since he came back from his walk and found Penny had made an authentic attempt at wedding planning. The pillow is gone. His fiancée is gone. His roommate to whom the pillow belonged is gone (Happy, Sheldon? Correct use of the objective case.)

"Penny?" Leonard walks toward the bedrooms. He could turn around. He should turn around. What if he finds what he is looking for? Leonard doesn't even peer into his room. Sheldon's door is slightly ajar. Dread is now an ocean in his stomach. His fingers push on the door.

When he sees her, several thoughts come to mind. He remembers Sheldon and Penny coming up from laundry, cheeks flushed, Sheldon's mouth set at an odd angle like he can't stop chewing on his lower lip. Penny threw herself next to him and Leonard recognizes the unique scent that is all Sheldon clinging to her clothes. He considers the Sunday morning he came out of his room only to find them on the couch in their respective places but the air was charged around them. The doughnut box was filled with eight doughnuts; the newspaper in separate piles. Leonard asked what they were doing since Penny's shoulder was under Sheldon's arm that was stretched along the back of the couch.

"Crossword." His roommate answered.

"I did across," Penny said. "And Sheldon's been going down." Then they _both_ wheeze-snorted.

Finally, he thinks about a week before he proposed. He left to pick up the Chinese food. Halfway down the stairs, Leonard thought he forgot his wallet and ran back up. He checked his pockets once more, finding the wallet in his second sweatshirt. He was almost down the stairs when three loud bangs echoed in the stairwell. They sounded like they came from his floor and the moan that followed sounded like Penny but he wasn't close enough to tell.

Now he is.

Penny is there. Asleep, holding the striped pillow with tear-tracks highlighting her cheeks. Leonard shakes his head and stares at the floor. The ring is on the nightstand. Leonard shakes his head and stares at the floor. He knows what he will have to do tomorrow when she wakes. He pockets the ring- a first step. He thinks of his mother's favorite platitude about denial. He adds his own for good measure.

_Seek and ye shall find._

_Fin._


End file.
